what if

what if i've been wrong? what if this was my one chance to shine as an individual? have i totally lost all hope in human kind? have i lost everything in myself to know that i'm nothing anymore? maybe so, but now i've learnt to pick myself up. step by step, i'll be whole again, not with anybody's help but my own. i'm suppose to be a guy, and build this wonderful world that i'm suppose to support someone.

i have done nothing at all. i scream i shout, i fail at life itself. i'm the mistake, the biggest one mistake someone can make. i guess, there's no way in the world that i can fix something that's broken. its like you never can find that spare part you need. its just a waste, a total waste of time, effort and feelings.

why do i torment myself when it means so little to the other? i guess i have to work out who i am define myself and learn to be a new human being all over again. ppl who love me support me through all this time, its difficult, its hard, its grey, its cold, its sickly, and its tiresome. yet they carry me on arms that are unmistakably one of true kinship and friendship. Yet the one i love, leaves me dry on my feet, not a tear shed, not a feeling exposed. she's stronger than me, i have no qualms or doubts about it. she's better than me. and till the day, where i can be stronger than her. i know i am not a complete person.

no one completes you, maybe God puts u in his splitting image. but he doesn't complete you, life completes you. take in all the hurt, misery, suffering and keep all those good memories of What if and maybe one day you can see where i am standing. here, with a couple of good mates, who love you for who you are, and not what you are to them.