can't take it anymore

have u ever wondered why the cosmos are so unfair to u. I can't believe it. i just cannot believe it. its like they say, how low can this world be. seriously speaking. can someone tell me why when u hear bad news, u have to be part of that bad news eventually? i can't freaking believe it. and after u become bad news. there's more shit to it. and it gathers up like a lump of shit.

look into ur toilet bowl when u take a crap....... that pile of disgusting brown/beige/greenish stuff? that's me right now. and no matter what u do it? its still shit, u cannot recycle it, or make any use of it. sure there's butane to be processed and can be one day use as fuel. but seriously speaking, its just shit. its gross and lumpy and eeky. no one wants anything to do with it. it can't tell u what it feels like to be shit. it simply is. i wait for one day where they can actually use shit to be a biofuel, a proper one. maybe then. they can make some good out of bad news.

bad things happen to people, i get it. doesn't matter if u're a good person, or a bad person. its bad is just bad. it transcends race, gender, wealth, nationality and etc. u can't get out of it because we live in the moment. it just happens. i guess they weren't kidding when they say when shit happens, it happens....... and it gets worse. something like when shit hits the fan. i can't bloody believe it. this world seriously hates me for all the wrong i'm doing or something.

i just wish someone knew me well enough. anybody. maybe one day one day, someone can actually ask me what's wrong with me and make me open up to them. till that day, i wish all this wld blow away and the earth cld swallow me up n so i can't THINK for a moment.