questions in mind

someone said to me today the wisest thing in the world. the wat into a woman's heart is to ask her what she wants and do everything you can to give it to her. even if its space. i don't know whether that applies to everyone though. i just hope it does.

struggling today..... mind going crazy thinking. i guess i have to stop it. i'm vulnerable now to panic attacks and being jealous over what i don't know. prone shld be the word. i guess giving space to someone is much harder than i thought it is. hard to suddenly change from knowing the person's every waking move, to not knowing anything at all. why do humans want so much knowledge. its a curse, leaves u going in circles and leaves u tired from thinking.

Cooking and baking have become my two favourite hobbies, poor daddy's credit card. its getting a bashing because i have the urge to cook and bake now. it tires my body physically. which i guess is a good thing. tomorrow i shall try to pump my body with endorphines, maybe work out a little and kill myself on the threadmill or do some weights till i entirely expire. i was here abt one and a half years back. here i am again, lonely, thinking, wondering, hoping and most of all in pain of knowing there's nothing to look forward to. Plans, all crushed by one simple action. how i wish it was otherwise, how i wish for something better.