perplexity

i am worried for the first time in my life for something that doesn't concern me. its been more than ten days now. and its definative by itself that it will not happen. there is an apprehension when it comes to this issue as its sensitive nature has turned its ugly head to be one of sacred passage. its one that has its own ideals by itself and moral contributions towards such an epic disclosure that one may not comprehend the perplexity of the situation. my ideas and intuition serve nothing but starvation of the soul and lost of ability to comprehend such graphic details that one may consider it a mystery or worse an adverse preferance to the degree of pleasure uncertain and unpowered by the heterosexual individuals. am i at a lost or does it seem to be one of confusion or frustration? i wish i cld answer the questions in my heads, but that assumption alone will lead to somewhat a indifferent objectiveness that even an individual may not be able to comprehend. the perplexity of it all is that i am lost at this point, lost in translation, lost not only in words but worse emotions that runs deeper than deep seeded thoughts of dismay. i miss it so much, the closeness of knowing someone's inner self, i miss desire. i dread the days now, each step each moment, for one love does not conquer all, its the misappropriation of the word that leads to dreadful events. yet its actions speak so much louder than words. the actions of one's love is even more powerful than love itself, it speaks so much of a higher better place, that one can only be lost to its power. i have once felt that, but today i lay in solitude in dread of the days ahead, not knowing that the power of actions can or will one day speak to me again. Dreaded be the words of the unspoken, dreaded be the curse of the infectionate being, dreaded be i at the lost of a worthier cause.